No, the title isn’t a reference to my fellow foodblogger Elmo Monster. It’s a reference to the absolutely enormous Monstera deliciosa in my backyard, which has finally, after two and a half years, sent up its first flower stalk.
You’ve probably seen these plants, which are related to philodendrons, all over Orange County—they are a very common garden plant and are often planted in corners due to their size and tendency to climb (ours is in some kind of perverted shack-up with the lemon tree and the sago palm that share its space):
Monstera deliciosa leaf
Now what you might not know is that the flower is edible. It’s called deliciosa for a reason, after all. And after a few years getting used to the soil, the plant will send up flower stalks like the one below:
Monstera deliciosa fruit on the stalk
A great deal of patience is required, because the stalk can take up to a year to finish growing in size — and until it’s done growing in size, the fruit is poisonous. You’ll know the fruit is ready for harvest when the green, hexagonal “scales” start to lift away from each other and you can smell the fruit. Cut the fruit off at its base and bring it indoors. As the fruit ripens, that green hexagonal armour protecting the actual fruit will start to pop off, revealing slightly firm kernels of fruit beneath. Cut the fruit away from the base and eat it raw — it tastes like a cross between a banana and a mango, but has the texture of pineapple.
DO NOT TRY TO FORCE THE SCALES OFF! If you do, you might be able to cut off the fruit, but the oxalic acid still present in the fruit will give you some impressive health problems. When the oxalic acid dissipates, the scale will pop off of its own accord. You may be eating six tiny kernels at a time for a month, but they’ll be delicious and safe to eat.
Monstera deliciosa fruit is more common in Florida, where it’s more humid, and the fruit is sometimes sold in speciality markets as “ceriman”. (Since that reminds me too much of the clinical name for ear wax, I call it Monstera deliciosa.) Restaurants that serve it normally don’t cook it — I had it most recently at a hotel in Orlando where it was available to sprinkle on a yoghurt and granola parfait—scrumptious!
If you have space outside and four years or so to wait, it is well worth trying to grow the delicious monster, not only for the beautiful foliage but because you can absolutely weird out your co-workers or your mother-in-law by bringing in a thing that looks like an armour-plated green turd and eating it bit by bit.
Tags: garden
